Whitley Bay – Chester-Le-Street – Newcastle – Haltwhistle – Carlisle - Gretna – Annan – Dalbeattie – Kirkcudbright – Creetown – Ayr – Brodick – Lochranza – Claonaig – Lochgilphead – Tayvallich – Dalavich – Oban – Stirling – Lanark – Annan – Carlisle – Keswick - Manchester.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Day 15 - Arran

We didn't move today. In fact, I can hardly walk. The impatient run down Goat Fell really did a number on me. The high impact of running and jumping on hard rocks for hours has left me seized like a lumbering scarecrow. Fortunately, some excellent literature has got me through the last couple of days. I just finished 'Last Exit to Brooklyn' by Hubert Selby Jr. a book given to me by a good friend back in Toronto for my birthday. It's taken me six months to get around to reading it but it just blew my brains out. It would make a great film. I should look into that. I've always dreamed of adapting a book and getting it picked up on a fluke. Dreamer.
We've laid around and eaten the last of our food. I hope my legs are feeling better tomorrow. I was starting to wonder if I'd been bitten or infected by something but that didn't make sense as both legs are equally as tender.
The tranquility of our spot was shattered when a large Scottish family laboured down into the valley like a herd of bison, cranked up the radio and started yelling at their kids. Let them run around I say. If there is one place to let them run around it is here and god forbid they end up like you. Hudson showed concern as the kids threw rocks into the brook and I let him sit proudly on the bank guarding our part of the field. I'd enquired with the site owner about the two small tents adjacent to ours, they'd been left behind and were empty but were functioning nicely as spacers between me and this rowdy bunch. Surely we'd move tomorrow, I don't mind this pace though. It's beautiful and cheap. I feel pretty lucky we found this place.

I think back now to the few people who've broken the ice and talked to me and I must say that the caravaners have been most friendly. On more than one occasion have I stuck my sleepy head out to gauge the morning weather and been immediately greeted with the offer of tea. They're a slightly nosey crowd but I think that is mostly due to boredom and they are an entirely harmless, ever so slightly adventurous crowd. Many other campers are strange and seem to be lost, not to mention cheap and underprepared. I've seen a few groups or couples turn up and seemingly attempt to pitch before disappearing an hour or so later.
   
11pm.
A frog croaks as I drift off and my eyes jump back open, reminded of her alarm clock. The one on her phone. I used to reach over her and put it on snooze, then lay tracing the curve of her waist with my fingertips. She would open those beautiful puffy morning eyes just a crack to recognise me and she would roll over and I'd put my arm around her in the most precious embrace and hold her close hoping the universe would notice. Close enough that as I slowly ran my fingers through the short hair at the back of her neck, her breath would condense on my chest and our legs would entwine like lovers do and our toes would twitch at each other saying hello and I never wanted that moment to end as I pressed snooze over and over. Even if I could prove to her how much I loved her, I'm not sure I could convince her my love is worth that much. She thinks it's fleeting and bares no weight. After everything she is the biggest heartbreak of all. The only one I want.   

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Day 14 - Arran (Glen Rosa)

It's already been two nights here and I don't want to leave. Today I feel dehydrated and my legs hurt, so maybe one more night. It's very peaceful here on this flood plain. Hudson seems content surveying the landscape and guarding the toilet block whilst I'm in there. The birds here whistle like people trying to get your attention. I still always turn around in the hope a familiar silhouette has tracked me down and come to ease my withered ghost. I can feel the day to turn back getting closer. As I wrote that last sentence my pen ran out.
I have seen some amazing places and taken some healing time. Still, there is a hole in my heart that will never quite heal, I really need to let her know. Having a life without her in it somehow seems a waste at this point.
The reality of no showers and no bed is starting to grate. My back aches and I feel covered in a layer of grease. Plus, my cash is running out and I'll need what's left to cover my journey into my new life, whatever that may be. I plan to travel to London, perhaps start heading south after I get to Oban. I may eventually fold if I think I can get a cheap enough train ticket. Once in London I'll call in a few offers for a place to stay and try eek out a couple of weeks survival before deciding what to do. Hopefully it all sticks. I'm not sure what I'll do if I find I don't want to stay, I'm left bereft of motivation or ambition in this old country. To leave might not be the answer, but I need to find a comfortable corner somewhere and at least I have a few people in London who've got my back.
The burden of the trailer is a real pig and so are the panniers. I feel like I could fly around this country now otherwise. Hudson is tired of the trailer and I'm fed up of him in it. He's developed a fantastic skill of unwrapping every single separate item of food and stamping it to dust or slowly tipping important bits of gear over the sides somehow. Another fatal flaw of the bike is that I never got a kickstand for it. Trying to coax Hudson back into the trailer while holding up the heavy back end of the bike as the front wheel turns to roll the whole thing on it's side is a farce I no longer wish to be a part of. These last couple of days walking have been a real pleasure and I've had time to reflect on all these things. I would do it better next time, but in the meantime, this has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done alone. It may be one of the most fun times I've ever been a part of, so I'm proud of myself for that.
I can't even stand on my tiptoes today without collapsing in pain so one more day here then an easy 14 miles up to Lochranza for the ferry across to Kintyre.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Day 13 - Tues 28th June - Arran.

To have an eventless day at this point might be quite pleasant. If this journal goes quiet you'll know I'm off somewhere having an inoffensive and pleasant time. Today though, I'll be writing.  
I have found myself on a near vertical rock face gripping shallow handfuls of grass from the occasional tuft in order to stay in one piece. This has gone too far and is truly scary. Hudson stands in safety behind me as we traverse the ridge of Goat Fell. I'm sure he's wondering why I've chosen such a route and he repeatedly demonstrates his physical superiority by galloping down to a less perilous crossing and trotting to me with his tail and tongue wagging. I want to smile at him but I'm just too close to dying, this went wrong so quickly.
The Glen Rosa campsite really has a stunning backdrop and the lack of shower facilities is reflected in the tiny fee. All this appeals to the Yorkshireman in me. The sun is hammering down today so it's on with light clothes and sweet smelling sunblock before we start up the valley. I feel like a gazelle after shedding the weight I've lugged for days and Hudson can't believe what's happening. Good times. In our pace we pass various walking groups, some of them recognise us from the road and joke about the trailer. The jokes are getting old now but of course they are meant in good spirit.   
The footpath leads us up through waist high channels carved in the sandy earth by feet and rain. We continue up to 'The Saddle', a sort of hammock shaped summit hanging between two higher ridges. We're tired as we come over the top but the vista on the other side makes us forget. The valley is huge and lush with greens and falling water and leads right out to sea, it's breathtaking. We take a rest and I clown around desperately trying to get the self timer on my camera working. I prevail and get a picture of us both that makes my yelping laugh echo off the rocks. I give out a few more hoots just to hear the effect of the landscape, it's a loud, clean echo.
Even now, the rocky ridge of Goat Fell is still high above us. The main path leading up quickly turns harsh and demands I scramble on all fours. These large smooth rocks offer no keying for Hudson's claws and the drops either side pose too much of a risk, it's impossible. We break off to some more minor paths lower and to the right but these fade in and out. We're climbing below the ridge halfway along the mountain before I realise they're not footpaths at all, just rabbit runs. Scrambling along the grass sideways I realise if it were to rain we'd slip down easily. The adrenaline brought on by the drop already has me shaking and I try to will these visions of doom from my head by singing Smiths songs in a tone deaf child kind of way. Our route is routinely interrupted by huge impassable slabs of rock and we have to descend in order to get around them. When we had totally run out of options I started climbing straight up the grass like a ladder. Hudson was valiant. He would follow me anywhere, I'm so proud of him today.
Needless to say, we eventually made it to the summit. I felt like I should've been defiantly sticking a flag in the bastard so I couldn't say I was too happy to see groups of school children up there. We clearly hadn't taken the easiest route. It's becoming a weary motif, but again the journey had been worth the view. This was simply arresting. The whole south side of the island was visible and we were stood at the highest point of what looked like a pinched patchwork quilt from up here. Many of the peaks surrounding us were populated by precariously placed groups of rocks and boulders that were much larger than the ridges they rested on. I had grossly underestimated our walk today, we hadn't eaten and were out of water. I weighed up the different routes for a swift escape and ran all the way down. I had a feeling this was stupid but didn't care and as we eventually limped back to camp I knew sleep wasn't far away.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Day 12 - Arran.

Up at 8:30, no-one bothered us in the night and the morning is clear enough that you can see the whole of this bay. It's gorgeous here. We slept with our heads just a few metres from hole eleven of the Brodick golf course.
I'm at the Arran brewery now sampling the local brews, typical safe British ales, perfectly good but nothing too exciting. My three years drinking microbrewed west coast style IPA's in Ontario has spoiled me. The girl at the outdoors shop opposite told me about a campsite in a valley next to Glen Rosa,
"If you don't mind roughing it?"
Which of course we don't. We can get up to the highest peak, Goat Fell from there and I'm thinking Hudson is due a good long walk.
The road to Glen Rosa is called the 'cart track', as we roll down the road I manage to spoil someone's photo opportunity with a drive by thumbs up in the background. I count to ten as they review their picture then hear them laughing. The valley has a flood plane in it's base that is cracked in half with a bolt of fresh water feeding down from the hills. I pitch next to the water and shiver at the utter tranquility of this spot. I hoist my dirty laundry over to the water and wade in with a bin bag and a bar of soap to clean it all. Whilst my back was turned, Hudson has rolled in enough sheep shit to turn his white spots brown so he gets wrestled in for a dunking too. Then I chase him around on the grass to make friends and dry off.
I lay all my clothes out to dry, crack the bottle of Arran 'Sunset ale' I picked up at the brewery and read until my book is finished. The forecast is good for tomorrow when we'll tackle Goat Fell.


Sunday, June 26, 2011

Day 11 - Ayr - Arran.

 Pistons! I thought and opened my eyes to be faced by only the grey tarp I was sleeping under. The thunderous roar of a massive diesel engine was approaching fast as I struggled like a paratrooper trying to separate from his parachute. By the time I'd broken my head free the large tractor that was raking the beach was raging past us at sphincter twitching proximity. I had no idea such machines existed. Hudson, lets get the hell out of this town, even the beach is trying to kill us.
Today is an easy twenty mile push and I keep my head down as we pass by miserable Troon and on to the shithole Androssan. It was really lucky we hadn't had to spend the night here, we'd have been robbed or eaten by rats.
I've committed to traveling to Kintyre today by buying the 'Hop-scotch' ferry ticket instead of a return to Arran. The ticket was only ten pounds and the trip took fifty five minutes. I slept on a couch in the lounge with all the other dog owners. The room smelled like a cinema and our dogs just eyed each other for an hour waiting for the chance to pounce
We've arrived in Arran. It's a misty day but still really pretty. We came across the brewery but it's closed so I pushed us over to the beach and laboured to pitch the tent using heavy rocks in place of pegs. It's an idyllic little spot here on the sand. Ten minutes ago a man walked past swearing to himself and I've just observed him furiously driving golf balls into the ocean.
Funny day.


 

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Day 10 - Creetown - Ayr


The stream had swelled to tumbling whitewater overnight and startled me awake. The sky was dim so it must be early and as I crawled outside the sky was grey. Camping wild seems to help with these early mornings as you never sleep too comfortably and you're usually eager to leave. I hoped to have a good long ride today so this early start was what I needed. We took ten minutes to survey the area and I started to break down the camp. Hudson was still fascinated by my work here. The tent had left a light brown rectangle of dry leaves on the wet forest floor, it had rained lightly all night. We got back on the wet road and I noticed the kinks in both wheels giving a wobble to the ride. I really should get these fixed but they're not the priority right now and until I come across a bike co-op where I can use their tools I can't afford it anyway. We're still riding the NCN7 and heading into Galloway Forest Park, my map indicates some altitudes ahead.
A hare ran out into the road ahead of us, I'd never seen one before and as we got closer it sped up but didn't leave the road. It just ran a few metres ahead of us down the middle, pacing us perfectly. I felt lucky.
The signs for the Galloway Forest Park had illustrations of large antlered deer on them. I wondered if this might be a lucky day for wildlife spotting and as we passed through the forest I scanned for any movement or silhouettes in the darkness.
The NCN spat us out and we went one mile downhill in the wrong direction. I stopped in a lay by next to a house and a lovely lady came and gifted us with dog food and water. She even kissed Hudson on the head when we left and put us back on the right track. It felt like four miles coming back up.
Back into the park and the climbs were steep but the views epic. We would alternate between riding and walking so we both got our breaks in. The forest was mostly huge firs and conifers and seemed endless. The road would open onto huge panoramas where we could see the clouds sweeping in and touching down on the tops of hills. The humidity was intense as we were literally entering the clouds. It had been constant light rain for about four hours when a wall of torrential rain came towards us and soaked us. I put my waterproofs on but was boiling and uncomfortable underneath. I pulled down the roof on Hudson's trailer and locked it down with the velcro tabs. It lasted about thirty seconds before he pushed it off again. Our food, clothes, bedding, it was all getting soaked. This roof needed to stay on or we were in trouble. Every time he would push it off and I'd have to dismount and re close it. I'd hold my bike with one hand to stop it tipping whilst trying to get the wet velcro to stick with the other as we rolled back down hill. I always thought it would be comfortable for him to have the roof down but it got hot inside too quickly and he couldn't breath. I eventually lost my patience and unhooked him, we will walk in the rain then. He used to really hate the rain but I think he got over that today. We covered two or three miles this way and just absorbed the rain, we were totally saturated.
It was getting later in the day and we were still ascending. I kept thinking we would go over just one more crest, all the time looking for a suitable camp but there were no flat spots at all. The hills were steep and deep in gorgeous purple and green heather. We came to a sign indicating the summit and I had already decided we were going to go on. As we came past the summit the side winds turned into a tailwind and for the first time on this trip, we were pushed. We sailed even. Up shallow inclines we rolled and when the descent started we rolled and rolled. The views were astonishing at this point and after the stress and frustration we had gone through today, the release was ecstatic. I got down on the drop bars and we easily smashed our personal high speed record. We just cruised. It felt like the will of my friends and family pushing me on and Hudson was really appreciating the world flying by at such a rate. The descent lasted for over twenty minutes and was the single most exhilarating cycling experience I've ever had. I just wanted to surf that descent right out to sea but eventually the land flattened and some pedalling was required to get us there, another twenty three  miles or so as the calved stones at the roadside counted down. I felt strong, we were going to get there.

 We rolled into Ayr at about 9pm, it was still very light and would be until about 10:30 or so. I just wanted to sit down and stare at the sea for a while so that's all I focussed on as we headed through the town. It was all a bit disappointing, same as everywhere. Drunks and loud music. Hair gel and fake tan. Taxis and fights. I was hoping for something more from this town and though the buildings and the large citadel built by Oliver Cromwell were really cool, this town has gone to the dogs, it's sad. I've never seen a town centre with so many 'to let' signs over bankrupted shop fronts. The only survivors were the bars, pubs, bookies, amusements and chip shops. The diet of a depressed town.
We sat down on the boardwalk that faced the beach and admired the sea for a while before my appetite got the better of me and we went back into town. I was sitting on a bench eating quite happily when I looked up to see four drunks about my age, maybe younger but looking haggard, standing over and around me.
"Did you steal my vodka?!' One slurred but carried on before I could answer
"What're you eating?" This was the ugly accent I'd mentioned in past days.
"I'm having these" he picked up a bag of chocolate bars from the bench next to me and they stumbled away laughing and holding each other up as they zig-zagged away.
I didn't bother standing, "You shady fuckers!" was about all I thought I could get away with. I'd suffered beatings from these people before. In Bradford when they threatened to spray aerosol in my eyes because I wouldn't give them twenty pence, I was twelve. In Shrewsbury when three guys did all they could to kick my teeth out because they didn't like the hooded sweater I was wearing, I was 16. It was a long way from here but that didn't matter, it might as well be the exact same people. I hated them and found there very existence to be profoundly depressing. I packed up and left.
After a bailed attempt at sleeping on a bench near the waterfront pavillion I dragged the rig down onto the sand and pulled the waterproof bike cover over the two of us. There on the sand, we eventually slept.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Day 9 - Kirkcudbright - Gatehouse Of Fleet - Creetown

A good long day riding today and again the scenery has upped itself on the previous day. Also again we weren't up and away as early as planned and that could be because of the weather or because I'm lazy. I paid my ten pounds this morning and that could be because I'm honest or because I was too scared to go careening through the gate and over the cattle grid/speed bump combination that lay directly next to the wardens reception. I'll let you paint your own picture.
Leaving Kilcudbright (it's pronounced Kill-cud-bree by the way) was quite sad. I could easily have lost two or three days there even though I hadn't clicked with the locals in the same way as I had in Dalbeattie. I will definitely return to Kirkcudbright one day. The bridge over the River Dee took us out of town and into The Firth of Solway (I think). We had a really pretty and tranquil ride up that Solway coast. Even the name Solway connotes a kind of loneliness and this quiet route is a good time to get your life in check, no distractions. I resisted the urge to picnic quite yet though there were some really nice spots. The road was a slow but constant incline and as we got higher the sun broke out but so did the wind. Pulling this trailer uphill and into a headwind is a grinding 3mph toil. Thankfully the views today were rewarding and I used any photo opportunities to take a breather. Hudson was fussing so we walked sometimes. We would come around a bend or over a crest and I would find myself yelling over my shoulder,
"Oh Hudson, will you look at that!"
We passed through Gatehouse of Fleet another true character town with a huge stone gateway as an entrance, a river and a clocktower. We sat down and had dinner. If there had've been a campsite I would have been tempted to stay but it's good we got further today. More slow climbs and the most sublime views.
At the right times today I was so happy and felt sorry for everyone that wasn't seeing what I was seeing. I felt sorry for the people driving by in their grey European estate cars, they were totally missing the point. I felt sorry for my friends in Canada, the girl I could never convince to follow me. I felt sorry for my family here and certain people I know, urbanites, engines of resentment. I wished that I could have brought them all with me and that they could all get along but most of all I was beginning to feel something strange. Now, so far from home, I think I was beginning to feel a little bit proud of myself. I had worked hard, pedalled hard to get here. I had comitted to this trip months ago and I was being rewarded for once by payoffs like today. Maybe that is what this trip is all about. I've been working hard for so many years for so little reward. I was ready to give up. This trip is pressing the reset button on my whole outlook. I knew there was a reason I was here.
As the sun began to fade we were panicking a little, we hadn't seen a house in two hours and we couldn't pull off the road because of two deep drainage gullies that ran for miles one on each side of the road. I pedalled hard and had a late burst of energy that carried us a few miles until we came across a plausible pitch in a small wood at the roadside. I let Hudson sniff around and waited for his look of approval before pitching by a stream. Sleeping listening to the water will be relaxing. I won't pretend wild camping doesnt make me nervous. I'll be sleeping with a big dog and a knife at my side tonight. Paranoid? Me?



Thursday, June 23, 2011

Day 8 - Dalbeattie - Kirkcudbright

Last night the panic made way for a eureka moment and a really fun evening. After waiting at the bus stop for half an hour we saw another break in the rain. I'd gotten into the habit of using a google search on my phone to help us find a campsite, but since that was dead I reverted back to my old road atlas. I could see only one near us and it would mean us leaving our planned route to Castle Douglas and heading south five miles or so. It felt like a bit of a leap but we needed a proper campsite to dry out. The usual happened, I'd underestimated the distance and overestimated my energy levels. As we headed south the land opened up into a large flat bottomed valley to my right with large forested hills on my other side. I could tell that this was one of those glacial valleys that I had learned about in school. Coming into Dalbeattie I was worried, it looked small and purely residential, new housing. In the distance I could see a church spire which indicated a more built up area and I headed for it. Soon came signs for the 'town centre' and then the brown campsite signs I'd been hoping for. The route to the campsite seemd to take me on a tour of this tiny town. The houses were unusual, rows of terraces clad in grey granite. I'd noticed a stone quarry on the way down the valley and made the connection. I rolled in past a couple of pubs, parks, a small river rushing due to the rains. I loved this place.

 

I eventually pulled up at the site totally spent and I walked like a stiff zombie. Eleven pounds! That was the best yet, a new record. Too late now I thought and I rarely even bother to pass a sly commet at these moments, just cough up. Maybe I'd complain about it later, online, anonymously. That was the new way of our generation and actually, as cowardly as it is in nature, it's a more effective sort of justice. Eleven pounds was certainly too much for a piece of grass for the night. Everything else was extra. Anyway, we pitched and headed to a pub. Deuchars IPA on cask again and I ended up on first name basis with about 8 ofthe locals at The Pheasant Hotel including the propreitors. The best chat was had with Jock, an ex forrester who seemed ready to die but had a wit that was undeniable. He had some great stories and I had a couple that he didn't seem to mind sitting through. When two of the locals would talk I really wrestled to catch every word but generally just got the jist of what was said and nodded a lot. I was the only person under forty five in their other than Denise the bartender and an angry looking lesbian playing pool. We acknowledged each other with a smile and I thought that this was probably a hard town for her to live in.
This morning, rain again. A had a stroll around town and then returned to the site and packed up. I really liked this place for some reason, loads of character. It's getting late so I made lunch. Hudson has an uncanny ability to unwrap and thoroughly crush all food items. I make myself a fiery salad with lots of mustard and black pepper so i can throw away the pots they came in. I entertain myself with every mouthful by guessing whether it was too much mustard or too much pepper that just burned my mouth. It's still raining, we need to move. waterproofs on.


We left Dalbeattie and followed the sign for Castle Douglas. Instead of taking us back up North we went towards the hills. It was the large range I had seen yesterday at the other side of the valley, leading out to the sea. The heat in these waterproofs is uncomfortable and the constant swoosh of baggy arms and legs is distracting. The climb is a killer and takes about an hour and a half in the rain. As it starts to plateau it is the most beautiful landscape we've seen so far. Seems like every day is better than the previous. Endless hills disappearing into the haze of rainfall. We dismounted for a twenty minute walk in which hudson shat and I didn't pick it up. As the descent begins we pass through a tunnel made of trees and the road is dappled with sunlight. It's cleared up and the waterproofs are put away. the descent is just gorgeous and I'm awash with relief, it just goes on and on. I look back and I'm sure that Hudson is enjoying the speed. The anticipation of where we might arrive next is always there and this town reveals itself pleasingly, welcome to Kirkcudbright. Beautiful stone churches, colourfully painted houses, a castle, a harbour, fish and chips, ice cream and a bunch of smiling faces. I go left and take a zigzagging sweep of the town. To think that there are all these little places tucked away that I could love so much, the world gets better every day. I try to leave town over the River Dee but just don't want to. I turn back and collect some maps from tourist information, grab some fish and chips and back at the campsite I fall asleep early to the sound of bagpipes and rattling snare drums down the hill from me. It's a great view from here and again they've forgotten to collect their cash. I've set an alarm for 6am and may try sneak out again. It's dishonest but so is ten pounds for sleeping on your grass and shitting in a shed.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Day 7 - Annan - Dumfries - Dalbeattie

An early start as planned at 7:00am though not sunny as the forecast had predicted. Light rain and the ground was swampy which made packing up that bit more unpleasant. If we could get away before the warden turned up we could save our nine pounds. I had a shower and got down to packing our gear which was mostly wet. We'd need another good sunny morning to drag all this out again and dry out, fat chance.
From memory, there were two NCN routes from Annan to Ayr. I remember at one point I really just wanted to do the most scenic route but my ideals were beginning to waver now camping and packing in the wet was becoming a thorn in my side. I cursed myself for not investing more in expensive gear but then remembered how the pole on Pauls super lightweight tent had snapped yesterday and was subsequently held together with zip ties and I quickly recounted myself as lucky.
I think I first saw a sign for the 'Scenic route to Ayr' in Gretna and then I definitely saw one leaving Annan today only worded slightly differently as the 'Tourist route to Ayr', just semantics I thought. I'd decided I would take this route but now I'm starting to think that the scenic and the tourist route are two different routes. I think I've been on this route for about fifeen miles now and though it's not ugly, it's not particularly scenic. It just seems to be riddled with tourist obstacles and I'm getting that cynical feeling I get when told to 'exit through the gift shop'. There are some strange dedications here, I've seen a 'Savings banks museum', I bet they stay open by selling ice cream or something. Anyway, time will tell whether it is a scenic route or not. I think it will be more so as I get further around the west coast and at least it's not too hilly here. By 10am it's raining so heavily that we're forced off the road in a place called Cummertrees. I'm sat in a bus shelter right now writing, it doesn't smell of piss, that's a first.

I've come to believe that if they ever did exist, all the beautiful girls have been exported from Scotland and only the deathly malnourished ones remain. It's not that they're underfed, in fact none of them are. They're all at least slightly overweight and many of them appear to be completely orange on the surface and that accrid smell of powdered make-up mixed with the marshmallow sweetnes of cheap perfume and hairspray hangs in the air long after they've shuffled away. There are a lot of tracksuits and trainers that will never see their owner break a sweat. I was thinking the same back in Newcastle but I was still buzzing with residual optimism at the time and at least people smiled there. The sour faced sows around here wouldn't unscrew their faces for a small child, nevermind some bedraggled looking pikey walking his dog around with a length of old washing line.

We're rained off again and stood on a petrol station forecourt about two miles from Dumfries. I think we'll have done fifteen miles this morning by the time we pass through Dumfries and I'll make sure to do at least double that today. I think that thirty miles a day has to be our absolute minimum and that's accounting for bad roads and bad weather. Anything less is just treading water and really on a good day I'd like to see us do at least fifty miles.
Hudson is coming to an understanding with the trailer. He's finally started lying down in it for long distances and yesterday he jumped back into it on command for the first time, I usually have to lift him.
The objects in our inventory are slowly changing their uses and definitions, expanding their purposes. A tarpaulin is a picnic blanket on wet ground. A towel is also a pillow. A jacket with pockets is as good as a bag when it's strapped to the outside of your panniers.
Hudson always prefers my sleeping bag to his large cushion bed. He is an incessant wriggler, always standing in the wrong place with no sense of purpose and no concept that he might be in the way. Reach over and push him with your hand and he'll just lie down in resignation. 'Surely I can't be in the way now dad?'.
We passed an Aldi supermarket and I couldn't resist the chance to pick up cheap supplies. It turned out to be good timing, as we pulled in the clouds burst into a torrential downpour, the worst we've seen yet. The car park was immediately under an inch of water.
I've taken to sitting down in Hudson's trailer on our road breaks. I think it makes him jealous and want to get back in.
I do like the accent here. It's not rough or abrasive like the stereotypical Glaswegian accent is meant to be but the people do look a little weathered. All slack jawed and sunken eyed with ankles melting over their feet and hair that is either drowned in cheap hair gel or bleached and sprayed to a candy floss finish. I just don't get it, I feel like such a snob, but please, just sit down and have an apple or something.
Today has been a rough weather day. I got about two miles from the supermarket when the rain returned with a vengeance. We sheltered in a stone arched tunnel and I sat down in Hudsons trailer, cooked noodles on my stove and drank a bottle of red IPA I'd just bought. I looked like a really sophisticated homeless person.
We made a break for Castle Douglas on the NCN7, fifteen miles according to the signage. The terrain was beautiful but the climbs were long and hard for us. The weather varied from rain to heavy rain and back again every fifteen minutes. This hard toil up hills in the rain was not what I had dreamt of when touring but the views today were quite spectacular regardless of the weather and the long descents were the most vibrant and dramatic yet. I almostly felt guilty coasting for probably a mile but I had certainly earned it and if I hadn't yet, I would soon. We continued to climb and dip through various tiny villages and the rain stopped for twenty minutes letting us blow dry a little be when we picked up speed. Not long after Castle Douglas had seemed like a twenty minute ride away again the rain came, badly. We had to take shelter and found a glass bus stop in somewhere caled Hardgate, fuck knows. Phone battery dead, camera dead. Need to find a campsite fast.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Day 6 - Annan

I woke to my alarm at 7:45 and again heavy rain and said out loud
"No fucking way".
I'd been kept up most of the night suffering from hayfever, I hadn't had it so bad since I was a child. By 11am the rain was easing but the day was already wasted. I walked back along the river with Hudson and onto Annan high street. Just the usual really. Same shops, same school kids in groups with awkward smiles and shifty eyes at each other. I picked up some better pens and went and sat at The Blue Bell pub and wrote all this. I picked up The Sun newspaper for the first time in years. It had three seperate articles about celebrity females nearly 'popping out' of their shirts. Back to the tent for an early night, early rise. We should cover some miles tomorrow as to not get stuck in a rut.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Day 5 - Carlisle - Annan.

I awoke at 8:45am to blinding sun and stifling heat. I quickly got outside but the ground was still sodden which is really unpleasant on such a nice morning. I spent the next two hours doing laundry, drying out all the gear from my panniers that had gotten wet and slowly packing as neatly as possible. I'm definitely not the target demographic for this campsite, first of all I'm the only tent and secondly I've spent fourteen pounds here compared to the six pounds in Haltwhistle.
Anyway, taking it easy today, the heat is a bit too much. I made breakfast, some noodles and sandwiches for later. The days really are never straight forward. I just entered Scotland at Gretna. There is a house there marked 'First/Last house in Scotland. Marriage room Est 1830 over 100,000 weddings here'. I'd heard the story that young English couples would run away to Gretna and get married as the legal age for marriage was lower here.
Entering Gretna I was already feeling weak, another short day and as the strength drained from my legs I pulled into a caravan site. "We don't do tents, you'll need to go to Annan it's only nine miles". I smiled but my heart sank. Nine miles is of course very little, but on a day where you're already feeling spent after doing twenty all day, it's a fair chunk. We connected with the NCN7 route as it meandered and humped us down country lanes and through puddles of raw eColi. I was noticing things. The thickly painted road markings on rough asphalt. The cracked paving flags. The teams of kids in football strips. The beer in the petrol station. It would still take me some time for this to feel like home again but I saw all these things as good. Only the small heavy black stone was left, rattling around in the bottom of my chest. An uncontrollable discomfort honouring those few soles i sorely missed and the love I had lost by leaving. I had a knowing feeling that this stone would always be there and I would have tolearn to live with it's presence but also that it was good that i would never forget those people and I would never forget that girl.


With some help from my phones GPS I found the campsite in Annan. I needn't have bothered it was directly on the NCN route. It was a small field next to the football ground with only room for fifteen pitches or so and again, mostly caravans or campervans. There was only one other two-man tent with a touring bicycle parked up next to it.
I looked around the heavily postered shed that was acting as reception and picked up a local map of Annan. No-one was here. Back outside was posted the wardens phone number and as i searched out my phone a man left the toilet block, I nodded and smiled.
"Hi!"
he said in a familiar tone and waving a finger like Colombo putting the pieces together.
"I saw you in Gretna" he continued almost correcting himself in fear of sounding weird.
"I remember that...." searching for the words
"The dog".
He seemed friendly and roadweary aswe began to talk. He was Paul from Munich, a fifty year old looking a slim thirty five. I told him I was going to find a pub later and he described a large place with lights and food he had to go to first.
"Tesco" I said, he nodded.
The warden arrived about an hour later to collect nine pounds (three pounds too much in my opinion). She was a lovely older Scottish lady and her accent rang of the ears with an indescribably pleasantness and generosity. She showed interest in the dog as about half the people I talk to do and I gave her my well rehearsed spiel.
He's eight. He's an Australian cattle dog. Or a Blue Heeler, same thing. We've just flown back from Canada together. He loves it here. He doesn't really like the trailer that much, so he's glad we've arrived. I took a breath and she smiled as I knewshe would and tentatively put out a hand for him to smell. He turned the other way, he usually does unless you have food.
I enquired about a pub and she pointed me to The Blue Bell.
"Follow the river down with him (The dog), you'll get a good pint in there aye, and he's allowed too".
I set up camp as Hudson watched, ears pricked in curiosity of my routine. He would stand on whatever thing it was I needed to move next and tap dance on the spot confused when I told him to move.
Paul returned from his land of milk and honey and we took the walk down the river where I bored him with obscure elements of his own countries film and musical heritage. He'd never heard of Neu! or Cluster but he knew Kraftwerk and had seen Fitzcarraldo. He said he hadn't heard from Werner Herzog in years. I told him he'd had three films out last year, one of them starring Nicolas Cage. He seemed distinctly unimpressed. When we arrived at the bar he insisted on buying my pint. I really liked Paul and I liked how we had found each other on the road. We discussed routes and had made the same plan of a route through Ayr, Arran and up to Inverness then John O groats. I knew my Inverness leg of the trip was looking less likely every day but we both shared an enthusiasm for the isle of Arran. We'd heard, read and seen good things.
At The Blue Bell the pub quiz was in full swing, it wasthe kind of place where London was talked about like it is a far away exotic destination and the internet as though it is some mythical beast they heard of through a friend of a friend. We stepped back to the beer garden where Hudson entertained us by kicking off with every other dog he saw. Paul claimed that the key to looking young was exercise. I had a feeling that it was more a culmination of small lifestyle choices. I drank two pints of Deuchars IPA while he had two halves, stuff like that. I told him I could spend all night in that pub, that I enjoyed the banter. He said well he had to sleep in his tent. I told Paul some of my theories and observations. I told him that when I saw touring motorcycles I thought that they were missing everything but that walkers probably said the same thing of us cyclists. He said he had seen many walkers. I really liked Paul, he was a proper tourer but it was time for bed.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Day 4 - Haltwhistle - Carlisle


Quite a succesful day today. We awoke in Haltwhistle at 7:45am, packed up and went to the park reception to pay my six pounds. It was empty and though I was tempted to just leave I couldn't do it. I left my money under a stone on the windowsill with a little note saying 'From the man with his dog, we stayed an extra night because of the rain'. It felt like the right thing to do.
As I pushed away to leave down the gravel driveway the owner appeared. She got her money and I didn't look like a thief or a blagger for one second.
I reconnected with the NCN72 in Haltwhistle town and followed it as best I could. It was acting erratically and quickly sent me about three miles in the wrong direction. I probably missed a sign but I never did see it even when I retraced my steps. I was warmed up and felt strong. Hudson was cooperating and we were conquering the rolling roads one crest at a time. When we came into Gilsland the NCN shafted us again and we wasted twenty five minutes but more important was the energy lost.
In this situation you become very aware of your energy and begin to use it up more efficiently. I've become quite adept at riding the gears, knocking the gears up like a trucker when gravity begins to give you a helping hand and easing off of the pedals as I switch down to make the peak of each climb. Each downhill feels like a gift and each climb a challenge. When you feel strong it's an amazing sensation, like lightning in your muscles as your heart beats faster to feed them, it's addictive.
I saw a cyclist in matching blue lycra with a blue helmet on a blue bike with blue valve caps and the kind of bike that has big letters on every component. He said "Morning" as he passed but all I could muster was "Oh, is it still? Good". I felt guilty afterwards, it seems the logical conclusion of the cyclist is to go around looking like an f1 driver. Later in the day I saw he passed me on the way back and I made sure to give a healthy hello this time and he smiled. I realised he'd probably been all the way to Carlisle and passed me on the way back, it's humbling, I'll just have to get used to this slow pace.
We really got rained on today and the pacing was weird and inconsistent. In one minute i saw a sign saying 'Carlisle (A69) - 18 miles' and then the NCN sign said 32 miles. We pitched up just North of Carlisle, the sites a ripoff and full of conspicuous camper vans emblazoned with names like 'Pageant' and 'Sterling', still, they have a laundry here. It's 7pm and I'm already in my sleeping bag with Hudson asleep next to me. I can see myself coming up with more and more creative ways to piss without moving on this trip.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Day 3 - Haltwhistle.


I woke up to heavy rain today so didn't move and went back to sleep. There was no way I was going to pack up my tent in the rain and then ride off into it. The amount of time I have seems endless right now and I'm taking full advantage of this luxury. I finally force myself outside at nearly 2pm and it's still raining. It'll be another night here then.
I look at my map and notice that during my prep I circled Haltwhistle with a pen indicating some sort of point of interest here. It must be something to do with the wall so I headed out on foot in the rain, Hudson in tow, grumpy. I think we'd walked about four miles when we arrived at Cawfields Milecastle. The wall was thick and impressive, the large stones cut quite precisely square and laid five feet deep. A short wall showing the square outline was all that remained of the castle, an apparent gatehouse for monitoring border crossings.I should really learn more about this wall, we often take our history for granted here in England. My uncle, an ancient roman enthusiast and reenacter told me the wall was once twenty feet high. Amazing really, the stubbornness brought on by ego and power. I just feel sorry for the poor blokes that had to build it and now it lies in ruin, funny that. The follies of man.
I'll try for an early start tomorrow, my map says I'm already halfway to Carlisle. The people I've met so far have been nothing but nice and I'm getting by on less than ten pounds a day. Better go get my phone, it's on charge in the toilet block. Night.

3am - The earth just shivered. I only felt it because I'm layed directly on it.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Day 2 - Hexham - Haltwhistle.

Our camp was drenched in dew and we were framed by a shadow cast by the tree we'd camped next to. I dragged the tent over into the sun to dry off and went systematically down the list of packing up. All very painless really and I half looked forward to getting this routine down efficiently. It took maybe 25 minutes for us to be ready to roll and we took to the country lanes. I found my legs to be very weak and it pained me to pedal.. I imagined peeling back my skin to expose the muscle in my legs, all watery and thin like a bloodshot eye ball. I could hardly pedal.
We had run out of water so I tried to make up for it with chocolate but the energy never really came. Every corner conceiled another climb and every descent though pleasant bore the bittersweet indication of an inevitable climb. I got off and pushed when I had to which Hudson was fond of. I realised I was fatigued and hadn't eaten or drank properly. After seven or eight miles we stopped at a stream in the base of a steep gorge and Hudson drank a lot. The following climb was steep and demoralising, I wasn't quite prepared for this.
We came across a Roman excavation sight 'Vindolanda' packed with coach loads of tourists. No dogs allowed. We stopped in the car park and I refilled all the water bottles and cooked lunch using the stove given to me by the embittered Canadian soldier I'd met in a bar 3 weeks ago. The road thereafter was Roman and so perfectly straight. It's hard not to transport your mind back in time, imagining the ranks of infantry walking and scouting and the bulding this damn wall I've seen nothing of yet. I was tired and so was Hudson. I think we only covered twenty miles today and as I came into Haltwhistle and saw the brown sign indicating a close campsite. It was only 3pm but we'd been going for 8 hours. Time for a hot shower and a warm dinner.

Day 1 - Chester-le-street - Newcastle - Hexham.

Retracing the ten mile route I'd taken from Chester-le-street back to Newcastle was a bit of a grind. Lots of loud main roads and invisible inclines. The day started with rain and after half an hour in these ridiculous waterproofs the sun returned. The descent through Gateshead down to cross the tyne river is an ugly one characterised by weaving lanes of angry van and bus drivers. Taking some time to stand on the foot bridge that hung low over the river it was calm for a moment. There had been a lot of glass on the ground and under this weight these Shwobbles are threatening a prolapse. I notice that my front wheel has already being bumped out of true, probably by that capsize event of Day 0.
Once across the river I quickly connect with the National Cycle Network number 72 or simply the 'NCN 72'. Now, I don't know when this network was setup, only that I've only just become aware of it and let me tell you that in a bustling town like this it is a godsend. Taking you down quiet streets, unused back alleys and old industrial estates, it feels like having a cheeky cabbie sat on your shoulder bragging about this route he knows. In this part of the city it's hard to count to thirty without seeing the pink boxed '72' and that reassuring arrow. Once out of the town these signs take on a new character, simply allowing you to ride and enjoy the sights without the need to navigate oneself.
The ride out of Newcastle is all cement and dirty water. The Tyne looks as though if you pissed in it you could only improve the water quality and the new housing and big box stores remind me of my time in Canada and how very few things depress me as much as lazy, greedy suburban sprawl. I much prefer the ideal of village life, and neighbourhood living. Everything on foot or on bike. I remember there is a trend in Germany for these kind of towns, 'Neo-urbanism' or something. They even have a car free neighbourhood there if i remember correctly.
At a pedestrian crossing I cross paths with a middle aged lady hiker changing from her walking boots into training shoes.
"Should be comfier from here on"
She was clearly gesturing towards the smooth path leading back into Newcastle. She told me she'd walked 85 miles from Bowness-on-Solway and had done the coast to coast route in two halves over two years. I thought she was insane and wondered why she didn't cycle it. To walk seemed just one step too crazy. Who knows what drives people to do these things? Something much bigger than my petty crisis perhaps or maybe just a distilled version of my same itch.
The green gradually swelled in my peripheral vision as the city disappeared and after a while I had to remind myself where I was. This was not the North East that I had grown up knowing, visiting my family. This looked more like the Pennine crossing from Manchester to Bradford.
We were really starting to shift now, the rig felt solid and I felt strong and inspired. I was smiling to myself about my friends I'd left in Canada. My love I'd left in Canada. Once Hudsons nervousness had died down we were really putting the miles behind us. I would stay below 15mph but that was swift when compared to our 5mph crawl from Whitley Bay to Chester-le-street a couple of days ago. The place names flew by but I'd have to refer to my map to remember any of them. I kept my eye on the sun to gauge how much daylight we had left and started to scan for a nice camp spot by 7pm. There weren't any. Eventually at around 9:30pm I saw an open gate and pulled into a barley field. Recalling what my Uncle had told me about not flattening crops I made a space for us in the long grass and nettles under a small tree at the fields edge. It felt loney and exposed, not the cozy nook I was hoping for. I noticed the farmhouse was overlooking us about a mile away across the field and wondered if the dogs in the yard there were barking at us. I wanted to be invisible but the orange canvas of the trailer didn't help. After five minutes of pondering I quickly pitched, what's the worst that can happen I thought. The gate was left open. And nothing did happen. I slept quite soundly and hit the snooze button on my phones alarm clock three times before pulling away at 7am.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Day 0 - Whitley Bay - Chester-Le-Street.

I pieced the rig together at my sisters place in Whitley Bay, right on the North East coast. I thought I would use this time to visit some family since my fathers side all hailed from there. An Auntie, Uncle and Cousins. My Granddad. They lived slightly out of the way but not much only about twenty miles, three hours tops I thought even allowing for getting lost and the odd mechanical malfunction.
The day was nearly catastrophic. Hudson was immediately uncomfortable and kept leaping out of the trailer, which since he was tied in entirely capsized us at one point. There were several serious mechanical failures, mostly based around the clamp that attaches the trailer to the rear chainstay of the bike frame. I eventually had to dismantle and reassemble the entire clamp after the protruding bolts got snagged and bent some of the spokes in my rear wheel. I swapped them all so they pointed outward rather than into my wheel, who built this thing anyway? I then rode on for miles not realising that the clamp had slipped backwards on the frame and was rubbing against the hub of the back wheel, acting as a brake. Nearly seven hours later I arrived in Chester-Le-Street exhausted from frustration and a long day in the sun. I was relieved when my family there convinced me to take the next day off and work out the kinks in the bike.
Maybe it's that I'm on the brink of taking everything for granted. Time to take stock or this life is over and every year I live takes a year of my life already.
I took the time in Chester-le-street to bind my trailer with a couple of ratchet straps and pad the trailer clamp with some squares of foam rubber. I filled up on good Northeastern food and took the twenty quid generously offered up by my Auntie. I realised that this household had been through so much over the years but there is a love and communication in this house that was never in mine growing up.

Thursday 16th June - 9:50pm.

To be on the brink is a strange feeling and it's something I've had a sense of for some time now, like I'm casting a shadow over so many unknowns. It's possibly the weight of expectation coming down with age. I end up down a cul-de-sac surrounded by vague generalisations and cliches whenever I try to dissect it. Success? Implosion? Becoming a man? I think that most of all, I'm on the brink of being a 27-year old man who can't think of a single achievement he's proud of. Maybe that's part of the reason I'm here, camped on the edge of a farmers field in the North east of England. I'm apparently following the path of Hadrians wall. A wall the Romans built presumably to give lost souls a bearing when wandering aimlessly.
Ten days ago I arrived in England, back in my home country after three years away. An old friends wedding doubled as an opportunity to see so many of the familiar faces I had missed. That familiarity I had craved for months. The last year had been long and humbling and to be amongst people that know me helped me remember who I was. Which is mostly who I still am, though there have been some irreversible changes.
I had an hour to wait for my train transfer in Birmingham and wondered into the night with my dog Hudson, doing a circuit around The Bullring. It was Friday evening and the apes were out, chanting moronically in their alcoholic stupor. There were no people on the streets, just these animals. Hudson appreciated the abundance of discarded deep fried food on the pavement. I didn't expect to be shocked by my own country. Or disappointed.
I spent the next ten days piecing together the rig I had promised myself. I found an old steel framed touring bike. An English Raleigh 'Classic' in Burgundy Reynolds 531 tubing and dated it back to 1983, the year I was born. I put some new tyres on it, made by a German company Schwalbe. The geordie mechanic helping me insisted on referring to them as "Them Shwobbles" over and over. I picked up a rear rack and panniers, a tent, sleeping bag and handlebar bag. Finally I found a used trailer for sale and picked it up in Shrewsbury. The kind of cycle trailer designed for your small kids to ride in, made of aluminium and bright blue and orange nylon fabric. The lady I bought it from said to her young daughter,
"This man's going to put his children in it now"
Oh no, thank god I thought before I smiled and left. I couldn't be bothered explaining it was for my dog.